Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
