Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't deserve a penis
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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