that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
