Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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