ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
