I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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