And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
What a dumb baby whore.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
