We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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