when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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