I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
