Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
