This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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