Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
