this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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