so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
