At least make sure they are 18
Why
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
