don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
