There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
