Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Still dying that you shit outside
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Randomize
