The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
