Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
ttyl tear gas
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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