I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
