I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
