so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
