Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
