I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
