we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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