these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
He? As in you personified your dick?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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