Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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