I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
