drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
