Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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