Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"

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(917): View more from New York City

I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.

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(210): View more from Texas

Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points

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(903): View more from Texas

She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".

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(310): View more from California

She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.

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(619): View more from California

How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?

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(510): View more from California

I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.

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(254): View more from Texas

Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.

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(509): View more from Washington

still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.

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