Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
