Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
