I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
