____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
