What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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