I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
