so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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