dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
foreskin is a definite game changer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
