I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
