i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
