so that wasnt chicken after all
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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