Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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