the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
