Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
