I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
