His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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