my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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