my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Panties = found
Randomize
