Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
