I got chris browned last night
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
