we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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